By Ruby Galvez Geek 2 God

Is it possible to get back together with an antagonistic ex without groveling for affection? Yes. The fact is groveling for your ex-girlfriend’s affection will never get you anywhere. You may think you’re being persistent, but the thing is, your ex-girlfriend will feel free to trample on you if you prostrate yourself on the ground she walks on. No matter how kind she was to you during your relationship, if you act like a doormat, she will treat you like one.

People in general hate desperation, and this gets magnified if your ex feels that you are the one who caused the relationship break down. Here’s what you can do if you want to try to get back with your ex without looking like a pathetic dishrag…

1. State Your Case as Clearly as Possible Without Breaking Down

Rebuilding a relationship means starting over. Because you do not want the mistakes to keep occurring, you and your ex must compromise a few things to make your “new” relationship work. To do this, get rid of all the drama (or at least put these on hold) and talk about your relationship objectively… discuss what went wrong according to your perspective and listen to your ex talk about her version of what happened. If she screams at you, stay calm. Even if she forgets your original objectives for having “the talk”, do not lose your cool.

Put the ball in your ex’s court by telling her that you want to keep the relationship ONLY if she feels the same way. Expressing your willingness to put effort into making things work in a calm and confident manner will prompt her to do the same. Reserve the tears for when you kiss and make up, not while you’re having your serious talk.

2. Tap Into the Power of Common Friends and Hearsay

Being in a relationship means you’ve collected an assortment of ‘common friends’, or people you befriended as a couple. You know who they are. They’re the people who witnessed your growth as a couple. They enjoyed your company as a couple, and not as separate individuals. These are the people to approach if you want to send a message to your ex without being too obvious about it. Your common friends will almost always want you to get back together, and confessing your intentions to them will make them feel it’s their sacred duty to help out.

Hinting that you want to get back together with your ex to these people will almost guarantee that your ex will hear about it. This rumor that you want to reconcile will plant the notion of starting over inside your ex’s brain, without the disadvantages of going directly to her and begging her to take you back. Tell your common friends “I still love her and if she’s receptive, I think we can work it out”, and let them do the work for you.

One caveat: if there are people among your common friends that have ulterior motives, don’t attempt this. The idea that one of your friends could be celebrating the fact that you broke up is not entirely baseless. Trust your gut feelings to smoke out the people inside your circle who could be hoping that you and your ex never get back together, and avoid opening your heart to them.

By Ruby Galvez Geek 2 God